||[Apr. 13th, 2006|10:43 pm]
"Cathy I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping|
"I'm empty and acheing and I don't know why."
Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike,
They've all come to look for America...
My friends are all down in Nick's room playing Catchphrase, which is one of my favorite games and I can't be in there. I'm just panicing. Maybe the room's too hot or there's too many people in there, or my blood sugar still isn't back to normal, or I turned from an extrovert to a person who's always caught off gaurd. I can't do it anymore, I'm so afraid. Until now I have never understood blind fear. It's not like when you're afraid there's something in the dark. This enters your body and freezes your mind and steals your breath away from you. I don't know where I'm going anymore, I don't even know why I'm crying.