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[Apr. 13th, 2006|10:43 pm] |
"Cathy I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping
"I'm empty and acheing and I don't know why."
Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike,
They've all come to look for America...
My friends are all down in Nick's room playing Catchphrase, which is one of my favorite games and I can't be in there. I'm just panicing. Maybe the room's too hot or there's too many people in there, or my blood sugar still isn't back to normal, or I turned from an extrovert to a person who's always caught off gaurd. I can't do it anymore, I'm so afraid. Until now I have never understood blind fear. It's not like when you're afraid there's something in the dark. This enters your body and freezes your mind and steals your breath away from you. I don't know where I'm going anymore, I don't even know why I'm crying. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 24th, 2006|01:01 am] |
Midterms are so much worse than finals. During finals you know exactly what time your test is at the beginning of the semester, and there's always a day or two between your next few tests. But with midterms your profs decide to make everything done within the same two days. Honestly how is one supposed to keep up with it all?
I'm the music director/choreographer for the musical at Sioux Falls Christian with Josh, and I'm pretty much dominating. The play is "Hollywood Hillbillies" and features such smashing lyrics as: "Folks 'kin' come/Folks 'kin' go/Kinfolk always welcome." However, we do sweet hiphop and Fosse, so the dancing way exceeds the musical expectations. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2006|09:25 pm] |
Merry Second Christmas!!
At least, that's what it feels like. I just spent the weekend traveling to both of my grandparent's houses and seeing all of my cousins (including the ones that live out of state) and eating more food than I actually did on December 25th.
I LOVE J-term break! I'm not doing anything for the first time in over a year. I'm happily spending my days trying to remember how to ice skate and reading the Chronicles of Narnia which I made my mother buy me because she so meanly sold them at a yard sale years ago without my permission.
If anybody's around within the next week give me a call! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|11:28 am] |
Last night I some how managed to fall hard-core asleep at 6:00 PM, so I woke up at 4:30 and started my day off right by watching "A League of Their Own" and starting a paper and working at the theatre for hours and hours. I will most likely crash at about 8:00 tonight, which would be a pity because Skating with Celebrities starts at 8 and I don't want to miss it.
My J-term class of "Improv" ends in three days and with it goes the best class ever. We spend a majority of every class period playing various versions of tag. And, because of improv I will now be wittier, funnier, and more popular, so my social life will soar....I'll get more party invitations, be more admired, and have the entire world at my feet. Well, that may not all be entirely true, but we'll see what comes out of it.
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2005|12:23 am] |
I never got the chance to know Johanna very well. My first, and last, conversation with her is one I'll never forget. We talked about boys; who to like, who was more work, and if that work was worth it. There's a lot of things in life that don't seem worth it. Some experiences just shouldn't have to happen. However, though Johanna I learned that the experiences we try the hardest not to feel can be the ones that make us grow the most. One chance conversation with her taught me so much.
There's a song by Brand New with the lyrics: "And we'll stay like this forever, 'cause we'll stay eighteen forever," and for most of us that's how we live. I realize that most of us are no longer eighteen, but the mentality remains. In college nothing can touch us. We live in a surreal world where the most known events are what happened on Lauguna last night. We drink more than we should't and study less than we should because none of us can feel the consequences. For all practical purposes, we're invincible. Our super-human ability to stay constantly on the sunny side of life can lead to some dark spots. By reveling in our inablity to be hurt, we lose the ability to live. I know that I'm guilty of this, probably more so than a lot of you. I've risked what I love, my soul, and my spirit to things that now seem too trivial for words. Because I've acted so carelessly with my own life I've lost chances to connect with others. It is our vulnerability that makes us human, when we ignore that we lose so much. We lose times that we could have felt empathy, times that we could have loved more, and times that we could have been together instead of alone.
My conversation with Johanna, which doesn't seem like chance any more, made me stop and think. Jesus said that the weak will be made strong, not that the strong will made stronger. When we convince ourselves that we're invincible college students we refuse the power God wishes to give us. In our weakest moments God can give us the strength we need, but only if we admit that we need it. Through Johanna I realized that I am weak, that we all are. That no matter how hard we try, we won't stay eighteen forever. That despite our strongest attempts, God will always remain stronger, and that He is waiting for us to come and trust in Him. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 5th, 2005|12:16 am] |
Let's make a resolution
Let's always stay friends.
Though we have our disputes,
This family tree has deep roots.
Friendship is thicker than blood,
That depends:
Depends on trust
Depends on true devotion
Depends on love
Depends on not denying emotion
It's something that gets harder to believe after a while. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|08:22 pm] |
I'm not sure where my life is going, but at least I'm along for the ride.
Remember these songs?
I'll get over you, I know I will. I'll pretend my heart's still beating.
In a day and a day love, I'm gonna be gone for good again.
If I had stopped to listen once or twice. If I had closed my mouth and opened my eyes. If I had cooled my head and warmed my heart; I'd not be on this road tonight.
Why do you do what you do to me baby? Shaking my confidence, driving me crazy.
I'm through accepting limits because someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but 'til I try I'll never know. |
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[Sep. 6th, 2005|12:51 pm] |
Here I am in the computer lab, with 10 minutes before class starts, trying to print off about 50 pages of text for my soc class tomorrow. *a word to the wise: if you're looking for easy classes, I'd suggest double majoring in comm and sociology. Right now I'm taking acting, English, interpersonal comm (dyadic conversations on various levels), advocacy and argumentation (debate) and deviance and social control (SOOOO fun!)*
I was going to tell about my kissing booth, but I ran out of time....let's just say it's going to be awesome |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2005|04:47 am] |
How did we get here? How the hell, (pan left, close in on the steeple of the church) how did we get here?
How can a night so frozen be so scalding hot? How can a morning this mild feel so raw? Why are entire years strewn on the cutting room floor of memories?
How pathetic is it when a musical starts to feel deep and moving. I'm moved into school, almost done at IHOP, done at Chilis except for weekends, and missing Darren.
I hate missing him, I don't want to and its not worth it. The sad thing is, I know that; I just don't believe it yet.
Time may change me but I can't change time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|05:13 pm] |
I'm back in Blaine for the weekend.
However, I'll prolly be gone before anybody realizes I'm back.
I drove up yesterday by myself, leaving Sioux Falls and its 104 (104!!!) degree weather behind me. Getting ready to leave was thrilling, I added oil to my car and read a map correctly all by myself!
Last night KK, Dad, and I watched One Hour Photo. Way way just weird and pretty disturbing. I saw Pirates today and it was crazy! I can't wait until I get to do it next year.
Anything else I wanted to say was made forgotten by the greatness of the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2005|02:00 pm] |
I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep this up. Eventually (to be cliche) something's gotta give. And, I'm really worried that its going to be me. I'm so tired and worthless and am fed up with being both. Yes, I am hiding behind it and yes, it sucks; but its better than being exposed. I'm worried that if I try too hard to keep from changing, I'll just end up changing into somebody completely different.
On a lighter note, I finished Harry Potter. It was way intense/ |
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| Summer in the city, back of my neck getting dirt and gritty.... |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|04:27 pm] |
Except Sioux Falls is in no way a city, it's pretty much just Blaine and Anoka combined.
Summer is unbelievable, amazing and exausting and leaving me breathless and sleepy. I work two jobs, Chilis during the day, IHOP at nights. Both are ok, except for when I'll work at Chilis (4-10:30) then go to IHOP (10:30-5:00) then go to Chilis (10:30-4:00) and finally IHOP (10:00-5:00). But, then I'll normally have a few days off.
The house in crazy, there's always people and there's always adventures. Ashley and I got haircuts, the boys rafted down the Big Sioux, on the 4th Nick almost blew us all up with a huge firework, Kim and I talk a lot, I met David's little sister from Colorado while she was here and we hung out all the time and we bought movies at 6:00 AM.
Sometimes I get too tired to deal with things, I'm going to be glad when Darren leaves. He's not worth the problems he creates. Kris's girlfriend cheated on him and he's taking it really hard. We hang out a lot and that helps both of us.
Tonight David and I are going to buy Harry Potter. It's pretty sad, but I'm pretty excited about it. |
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| I heart Thorton Wilder!!!!! |
[May. 31st, 2005|09:59 pm] |
OK, nobody from Blaine is going to believe this, but I saw Our Town the other day, in Russian, and I adored it! It was amazing! They had awesome sound effects, like newspaper pages turning or coffee pouring, dream scenes and dance numbers, and at one point George walked on his hands! It's kind of sad that I loved a version of a play in a language I didn't know, and hated the version I was actually in. Boo Mr. Pimlott, boo.
Today we went to the Hermatage, the second largest art museum in the world. I saw 5 Monet, 3 Van Gough, and two whole rooms of Picasso. It was unbelievable how beautiful it was. If I was an art groupie it would be for Monet. When we go there again we'll see DaVinci, Michaelangello, and Rembrandt.
I can't believe all of the amazing experiences I'm having here! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 27th, 2005|10:56 pm] |
After seeing Giselle I decided to become a ballet dancer, then I realized that even if I went back in time and tried to get into the Academy of Russian Ballet at the age of ten, they still wouldn't have accepted me because I have bad feet. I wouldn't even made it past round one of elimenations. But, I can still dream.
Today we went to Peterhof Palace, which was amazing, we had to wear bag/slippers over our shoes. There were also a million Chinese tourists who were behind us, but were'nt appreaciating the palace as much, so they kept trying to barge ahead of us. Luckily our translator Helen managed to keep our lead.
My roommate Ashley is driving me crazy! If there's one thing I hate its people who end every statement as a question. Here are some examples (oh, plus she just repeats her comments over and over and over): I'm so excited to be here? I just can't believe how beautiful everything is? I really want to make out with a hot Russian guy while we're here?
All in all, it's been amazing so far! |
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| Priviet from St Petes!! |
[May. 25th, 2005|11:04 pm] |
This is kind of hard because all of the sign-in stuff was in Russian. My first three days here have been a ton of fun...well, not the first day where I spent my entire life on a plane. If you have to eat three meals in the air then you're up there too long.
It's beautiful here, and right now it's 11:00 and its still light out. How cool are the white nights? very, I tell you...very.
Gotta go, da svidanya! |
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| Da svidanya!! |
[May. 23rd, 2005|05:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rent | ] |
Well, soon I'll be going to Russia....I'm really excited. I'm also really scared that I'm going to get TB. Not just any TB, super TB.
Have a fun three weeks everybody! |
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| We're almost out!! |
[May. 11th, 2005|02:17 pm] |
Oh...life moves fast. School's almost out, two more days of classes, then my three finals that I have left. Followed by packing, and moving everything to Dylan's house. Then I'll go home, do my laundry, return my movie to Hollywood Video, and go to Russia.
It's official, I'm staying in Sioux Falls this summer! I'm so excited. I'll miss everybody a lot, but I know that even if I was home, I'd still work non-stop and never come in contact with anybody. At least this way, when I come home I'll prioritize and make sure to see people.
Charity, we WILL see Batman this summer, OK? |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 6th, 2005|11:23 am] |
It's been a long long couple of weeks. I sprained my ankle on Sunday by falling down the stairs, followed by me getting tonsilitis on Thursday. Its been a pretty healthy week.
I might stay in Sioux Falls this summer, I want to more than anything. I just need to find another job before school ends. I already have one job....beer girl at the Canaries (SF's version of the St Paul Saints) home games. All I can say is, I bet I'll make a lot of tips.
I'm leaving for Russia so very soon. |
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| I'm pretty sure I'm going to pass out |
[Apr. 21st, 2005|05:58 pm] |
Last night for whatever reason Darren and Kris and Laura decided to drink their beers, and I had a good two (but they were gross). The highlight of the night came after Kris vomitted a great deal after binging an even greater deal. Kris and Laura started making out on the bed, and Darren and I sat on the couch and whispered things like:
"this is really awkward" and
"Kris just thew up."
"Yeah, but he brushed his teeth"
"Well, I wouldn't kiss him for at least a day."
"That's true devotion over there."
awwwwkwaaaaard to say the least.
I'm doing box office for the play "The Skin of Our Teeth" brought to us by Thorton Wilder who also was the author of the hit hit play "Our Town." Its been the longest day ever ever ever. |
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| Out of seven meals I ate one in our commons |
[Apr. 19th, 2005|09:13 am] |
Best weekend ever!
Friday night we all were hanging out when Kris's phone broke, he knew he'd have to get a new one this weekend, so had to go to Sioux City. Nick and I came with and we left Augie at 1:30 AM, rolling into Kris's house at around 3:00. It was a great car trip, we talked a lot about love, and how crazy girls are. Then we stayed up for a good while trying to think of theme partys....grandpas and sports bras, dormatory halls and racquetballs....they just weren't all that good. But, they were funny and I laughed a lot at the time. (The next morning I found out that I had awakened a woman staying with Kris's parents because her husband just died with my laughing. However, she said it was nice to hear somebody laughing for a change, so I felt a little better.)
Kris and his dad were getting a new phone in a Verision store in a strip mall, so Nick and I decided to go to a Toys R Us that was there.
And I found....a HOVER-DISC!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure if you've ever seen one, but they're easily the best toy in the world, floating and spinning with reckless abandon. Nick and I brought it outside, and on the second throw Nick threw it up....and it floated....straight over the roof of the mall. It was a beautiful but tragic sight, seeing my hover-disc float out of my life on a stray breeze. Luckily, we found it.
P.S. I named my hover-disc Hovie and it's my favorite thing I own on campus.
To all of you music woshipers: Check out the band Mae. They're beautiful....especially song number 2 on their newest CD. Everybody's listening to them here, they're bigger than Hanson first was with Om-bob.
Also, check out "Amy's Diary" at www.angryaliens.com I gaurentee you that you will not regret it. This is something else that's quite the trend at Augie and has already spred as far north as Moorehead State. |
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